Post 8: I am a feminist

Post 8: *I have to just start by saying that my laptop is with our IT guy this weekend, and I’m not loving typing this out on the iPad. So there will likely be some grammatical/word errors lol. If Terrace doesn’t catch them all, feel free to let me know. 😉 * Leap year day 2020 seems like no better time than to announce I am a feminist. At first I was going to use the word closeted, but then I realized the topic of women isn’t necessarily one I will shy away from. Loud and proud. If you want to take me on, go ahead; I’ll fight you (to the death 😉 ). I feel the word “feminist” or “feminism” comes with its own stigma, but maybe it’s just a lack of understanding. Terrace asked what I was going to write about today, and I told him it was going to be about feminism. I asked if he knew what that was, and he responded with “No. Like, you like women?” “No, babe, that’s call a lesbian.” He then asked what the word was for men. I sort of softly laughed and then said, “There isn’t one. One doesn’t exist because it isn’t needed.” It’s a mix of funny and sad at the same time. Here is my own definition of feminism: that all people (because it’s not just women) have equal access to, are paid equally for, and are respected equally for what they do. A stay-at-home mom deserves the same amount of respect as the owner of a Fortune 500 company, as a person. An immigrant who works as a janitor deserves the same amount of respect (as a person) as a doctor. Feminists don’t want to be men, and being treated equally and fairly does not mean “the same.” From the time I was in my early teens, I had a desire to help people or at least an innate curiosity of how to help them figure out and overcome their “issues.” As a teen, counseling still had a bit of a negative connotation, although I knew the importance of it, even if it wasn’t something practiced within our family growing up. I used counseling to deal with the divorce, the new move, and feelings about my dad. I have continued to use it sporadically to assist me in dealing with things that I cannot always sort out on my own. So at 19 I enrolled at Mount Royal in the Bachelor of Arts university transfer program, and the plan was to major in psychology. Step 1. While choosing my classes for my second semester, I was attempting to have a decent timetable. So it was more about at what time classes were offered rather than what the class was itself. There was a class called “Women and Religion”; the time was right, and it sounded sort of interesting. That course and that instructor changed my life. First, it had me question every belief I had been brought up with under the premise of if you can’t question what you believe or what we’ve been taught, it’s probably not true for you. (Also that words have no meaning or power unless we give it to them; specifically referring to “see you next Tuesday” and it being one of the most derogatory words in at least North America. I think our British friends use it more freely). This one course changed my path of wanting to be a psychologist to wanting to inspire women. I never quite knew how I was going to do that, but it was my ultimate goal. In fact, that is still my goal. I think women are f*cking amazing. I don’t think it’s still uncommon today for women today to feel small, undervalued, not worthy, not capable. It’s an odd paradigm of two opposite beliefs fighting against each other. I’ve shared that I struggle(d) with not feeling good enough based on the fact I am a woman, but on the other hand, my passion and energy and confidence could, quite literally, take over the world. I mentioned my amazing tribe of women yesterday. I grew up watching this fierce, inspiring group of women not give up. Given some of their past experiences, no one would have blamed them had they laid down and said, “I’m done; I give up; you win.” But they got up and they kept fighting. I watched them start and run successful home-based businesses. Work outside the home. Raise amazing kids. I watched them attend and complete university degrees while raising babies. I watched them struggle, and yet watch them get up and never give up. I can only speak from my experiences and my personal observations, and I really hope it’s changing, but from what I can see, we still live in a fairly patriarchal society. There are still ideologies of what is “women’s work” and “men’s work.” What is acceptable for a man to do versus a woman. Who is ultimately responsible for the kids. Who should and does make the most money. Who has the “power.” (And I say all of this very kindly and not undermining what men do, really.). Some of these things are just so ingrained we don’t even know we are believing them or acting them out. Terrace and I still struggle with this, and I’m very vocal about it. (Lol). He and I grew up much the same way in that the woman takes care of the house and the kids, and the man works and provides for his family. In theory this could be a beautiful partnership of sharing responsibilities, but each has to be valued and respected equally. This is not always the case. To be continued… Today’s song: I’m just a Girl – No Doubt

Feb 29, 2020, 7:58 AM